Saturday, April 12, 2014
They asked me what I really want yesterday.
It seems like I'm always the one throwing away chances given to me.
I replied them, I want her.
Her to be happy.
Her to be fortunate.
Her to be with me.
Her everything.
But you know certain things are beyond our control.
Since this is gonna be my last post.
I shall tell you what I really want.
I want you to be my girlfriend.
I want you to be the princess of mine.
I can treat you much much much much better than other guys you've met.
I won't hurt you.
I will be super understanding. ( You know what kind of person I am.)
All the things you can never imagine, I am able to do,.
I maybe young, serving my National Service, pursuing my studies in university but that doesn't mean I am not capable of doing what an adult life should be doing.
I got my future. I got my aim. I know what I am going to do few years down the road.
Trust me.
I always feel so emotional when I watched this video.
Sighpie.
I always tell myself to prepare for the worst. Even up till this point of time, I've no regrets or even asking for any returns.
I swear before this video came up, I've already thought of something like this. But no one had gave me such motivation to finish it up. None.
As for now, I'm done. As long as someone is willing to take a picture of her smiling happily is more than everything. The time I spent to prepare everything, the amount of effort I've put in. It doesn't matter. Worth more than anything else.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The total exact feeling I am facing now.
No tears came out, no shoulder to lend, staring blankly into space and my heart break into pieces.
I know I will regret what I've to say today.
I really feel like telling you personally. I really really really want.
But I know I can't. You people understand the feeling? It is so bloody fucked up all because you cannot pick up your courage and say out everything.
I let it slip away.
I fucked it up and I choose to.
Because I believe she will find someone much better as compared to me. Definitely.
Though we've way lots of similar habits, liking, etc.
But I know we will never meant to be.
Never ever.
To be honest, you think I really feel like going to Brunei and gave up just like that?
NO I DON'T! Going to Brunei is like hell over there. Who the fuck will want to volunteer?
Me! I am the one who volunteer though I still have the chance to reject it. Sounds stupid right?
I know! But what to do? That's the only way to avoid feelings. Avoid everything.
Trust me. I'll be fine. Real soon.
It hurts.
I can feel it.
Totally.
Sighhhhhhhhhh.
As long as the boyfriend can promise you that he won't let you face everything alone is more than enough.
Is the effort that counts right?
:)
Trust me.
If there's a time machine that can revert everything back.
I'll buy it no matter how much it cost.
If there is, if.
Just a few years of going back will do.
I'm not a greedy guy.
I've done my job of being a nice guy.
I've done my best to stand by your side as much as I can.
I've done my best for making you smile as much as you can.
I've done everything I can just to show you what kind of person I am.
I'm done.
Totally.
Whether I've stand an important place in your heart is all up to you.
Sometimes I really hope I did crossed your mind.
Just a little is more than enough.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Be it worrying or thinking too much.
It doesn't matter.
What's important is our friendship.
I'll rather choose friendship over everything.
Honestly speaking I can't wait to go Brunei as soon as possible.
I know that is the only time I will let it all out and leave with no regrets rather than hanging in the middle of no where and force myself not to say anything.
Sighhhh.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann.
That's what a perfect relationship is.
Best friend together with lover.
Be yourself and don't hide your original you.
Everything will be smooth.
I can jolly well don't care at all.
But when I care for someone more than they deserve I will eventually get hurt more than I deserve.
So should I care or not? Sounds contradicting yah?
Simple. Don't care.
If caring someone will get hurt in the end then why must I bother?
True?
Always remember.
I am not the one that walk away. Is you who let me go.
Though it is painful but what to do? That's life.
Sometimes certain things are way beyond your control.
Feelings is the most important factor of all.
But never mind. Over the years I've learn something important.
Nice guy finish last.
Goodbye babe.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann
Monday, March 17, 2014
Say cheeeeeseeeee to my brother of another mother.
Always there for me. Never failed to make me laugh.
We always crap a lot whenever we're together.
Love him to the max.
We fight together.
We smoke together.
We slack together.
Can't wait for you people to come back tomorrow!
Though we're wearing the same shirt with different button, we don't care.
Whoever blocks our way, we make sure we fuck them up or we hospitalize together.
Family photttttooooooo!
Muaaaa Muaaa Muaaaa.
Saw the guy I kissed? Never failed to get me into trouble in club.
Like always, hot temper aka my baby boy.
Remember the time when we drink 10 bottles of hard liquor in just one night?
Yes! Only you and me.
We vomit together.
We drink together.
We fight together.
We smokeeeeee weeeds together.
Thank you for lending me your shoulder that day when I broke down with tears.
These 3 guys never failed to encourage me and scold me whenever I lose tons of money per week.
Trying their very best to lend me as much money as they can whenever I got K.O!
Saw that white shirt guy on the most left?
My idiotic friend that never fail to shoot me. Fucked up guy that I've ever met I suppose.
But I still love him to the max.
OI YINKEAT! FASTER COME BACK! I NEED YOUR HELPPPPP.
THIS TIME I AM SERIOUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
PREZZIES ARE ALL READY TO BE COLLECT.
<3 i="">
This is the reasons why I want a polaroid camera.
I always love photos.
They are the only memories that we can hold on.
That's why I wish someone can really buy me one and bring me to zoo.
Take a lot of pictures so that I can put inside my wallet.
Bring it along with me to Brunei.
Sigh.
Its all true.
Reason behind why someone stops trying is because he or she began to feel really tired of everything.
Not tired of the opposite party but they themselves, mentally.
Imagine one that is trying so so hard to pay more attention to the other but the opposite don't notice it at all?
Imagine one giving another a chance to prove them wrong but they don't seems to bother at all.
Imagine one that got rejected over and over again just because of stupid reasons and never failed to look at the optimistic side?
Lastly, imagine one that gave their heart, soul, brain juice and time to prepare everything just to make sure that person receive the most memorable gifts in their entire life but upon presenting these gifts, words that have to be say all along will never come out from the mouth because they themselves know it will lead to awkwardness or worst case scenario, friendship ruined.
Then what's the point of giving it personally?
Sounds legit right? LOL!
With regards
Edmundd Tann.
Who in this earth would want to live with regrets?
None.
记事本
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Countless and countless of time.
Again and again.
I try to stand by your side whenever you need someone to.
Don't you notice all the things I've done for you?
I gave you a chance that night and you rejected me. Not once, not twice but thrice.
You know how painful it is? I kept telling myself never mind its okay. I'll try again next time.
Failure after failure. I am tired. Really really tired.
No more.
I guess maybe it is not meant to be.
I'm not going to bother anymore. Not gonna care anymore.
Trust me. When I say it, I will do it.
Just hoping for my friend to come back from Taiwan.
Everything will be settled.
But remember, chances are only given to people who appreciate it.
Once its gone don't even think of taking it back.
I can be really nice guy but I hate to try really hard when someone don't even bother at all.
Ended up? I got really tired and will let go of everything.
Every single one of them and won't turn back.
I'm not rushing.
I'm just tired.
Literally tired.
With regards,
Edmundd Tan..
Sunday, March 9, 2014
This will be my very last post.
I don't know what's gonna happen for the next 1 week.
But whatever it is I will try my best to fight for it.
I promise.
I want you to know...
That every moment I spend with you...
Is the most beautiful thing in my life...
You bring out the best of me...
Love is not a big thing...
But a million of small thing matters...
I will miss you...
We may not be together...
But one thing that I'm sure...
We will be best friends forever...
*Off Note*
Friendship is like a violin;
the music may stop now and then,
but the string will last forever.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann.
Everything happens for a reason.
It depends on how you look at it.
As for me, I can't treat it like as if it didn't happen at all.
I promise you. If I manage to settle everything by this week, I will give everything to you personally.
Trust me.
You know I'm not those kind of wishy washy person.
I'm not those kind that always love to keep things inside my heart.
I'm not those kind that is super indecisive when comes to doing this kind of stuff.
Whatever it is, believe me. I have my reasons for doing that.
Just give me one week.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann
刘力扬 天后
Uh huh.
Chances only given to people who deserve it.
Once you let go off it, don't even think of taking it back.
I know I'll regret but what to do? Suck it up and life goes on.
YES! I ADMIT IT IS PAINFUL. BEEN WANTING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID REASONS. HOW GREAT?
AH FUCK. I'M SCREWED.
Actually it is the process that is painful not how much effort you've put in on something.
Who the fuck in earth would want someone to do the job for them when he himself is the one doing every single stuff?
Who the fuck in earth would want someone to pass the message when he himself is capable of doing it all by himself?
Fucking stupid guy he is right?
YAH CORRECT. That's me.
Clap for me please.
HAHA
Am gonna hit the sack now since I prefer dreams all along.
Reality is hurtful.
Fuck you.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
I tried to be really strong.
The only choice I've now.
No matter what the outcome is I must hang on.
Definitely.
Nice guy finish last.
All my friend tell me that phase over and over again.
Think and think.
Hmmm sounds legit actually.
Take me for granted. I don't care because I myself is more than willing to do that.
*Off note*
Really had lots and lots of fun yesterday with all my friends.
I need all the photosssssssss!
They never failed to make me smile despite the fact that they knew how troubled I am yesterday.
Ah shoooooo. Shouldn't mention about my stuff here at all.
I don't do something without a reason.
Who the hell in this earthling will want someone to pass their prepared gifts to other people through a friend.
UTTERLY STUPID.
With regards,
Edmundd Tan.
