Pardon if I get so sentimental all of the sudden.
Yes, I know I am not who am I today.
Don't ask me why because I don't even know.
Thinking back all the past that I've faced.
Be it friendship or relationship.
Few hours ago,
I lied down on my parents bed and heart to heart talk with my mother for just freaking 10mins. Tons and tons of flashback just flew pass my small little pea brain without me knowing it.
She asked me if I still do stupid stuffs outside and I told her NO.
Never ever again.
I asked her why? She said:"Son, remember what I told you before? More friends > enemies.
Ever wonder what if one day you married with someone you really love, settle down and have kids. All of the sudden you met someone you find trouble before? Are you afraid of the things you do in the past that lead to your future? What if those people want to find trouble with you? What about your wife? Your kids? Still gonna act like a 18years old young punk?"
I pause for a moment and think about it.
Ya quite true, if it really happen, I don't know how to explain to my family.
I cried and ran back to my room.
I ask myself, how many enemies I've made in the past few years.
I slapped my face once and fuck it.
Not anymore. No more shit. Really. Sick of tired of it.
One more thing. Don't know should feel proud or stupid. -.-
Went to one of the pub at boat quay with my friends last Saturday.
When all of them saw me, the first thing is like wtf?!
Edmund!!! U CHANGED ALOT!
Remember the last time we met up? When was it? Oh! Last year I remembered!
We were so fucking dead drunk. Walking along the street with our hands swinging like no people business. It seems like we own the whole bloody road!
Weapons all inside the car, all gear up and ready to fight with any dicks that block our road.
And you remember what you always say Edmund?
You always told us alcohol ain't a problem. Problem is how much can you drink? And the same old thing again! You blow the whole bottle of Martel like no people business.
At that very moment, I was like really? Wtf? That's stupid. Arghhh!!!!!!!!
Ah fuck it. Too many things happened in the past.
Don't rack it up anymore.
Those hard times I faced.
No one can understand how exactly I feel at that very fucking point of time.
Every struggle in my life, it is terrible.
It is HELL.
The reason why I am able to stand up on my very own is all up to myself.
Like what I say, be it friendship or relationship.
I am much much strong than all my friends think.
I don't want to show it all out because I don't think there's a need.
If you people out there say how pathetic you are, FUCK YOU.
Relationship? Don't emo about it and instead stand up and stay strong.
Open your eyes big enough and see clearly who are the bad ones and who are the good ones.
Friendship? Yea! You can have 112329843789475972349889234789 friends. But trust me man! Trust me. At the end of the day, when you're in trouble or whatever shit, there's only a few that will be there to lend you their shoulder.
Yes! That's your true friend.
Don't be shocked if all my friends are to ask me how is my studies.
I know what I'm doing now.
I must admit yah? So what I am doing stuffs that is illegal?
Go ask every Singaporeans and see what they'll reply you.
In Singapore, you can do whatever shit you want. Nobody can stop you.
But don't get caught.
Ever wonder why must I do such stuff even when I got myself a place in Singapore University?
It's not about financial problem in my family.
It's not about me myself lacking of money to drink.
It's not about me myself lacking of money to spend.
Then why am I still doing?! Want to know? Can, sure, no problem.
That's provided I must let my guard down be it as a friend or even my girlfriend.
Booooooo!
Okay! I'm gonna post my genting pictures tomorrow.
Promisesssssssss my loyal vistors.
With regards,
Edmundd Tan
Dj got us falling in love again.
