The total exact feeling I am facing now.
No tears came out, no shoulder to lend, staring blankly into space and my heart break into pieces.
I know I will regret what I've to say today.
I really feel like telling you personally. I really really really want.
But I know I can't. You people understand the feeling? It is so bloody fucked up all because you cannot pick up your courage and say out everything.
I let it slip away.
I fucked it up and I choose to.
Because I believe she will find someone much better as compared to me. Definitely.
Though we've way lots of similar habits, liking, etc.
But I know we will never meant to be.
Never ever.
To be honest, you think I really feel like going to Brunei and gave up just like that?
NO I DON'T! Going to Brunei is like hell over there. Who the fuck will want to volunteer?
Me! I am the one who volunteer though I still have the chance to reject it. Sounds stupid right?
I know! But what to do? That's the only way to avoid feelings. Avoid everything.
Trust me. I'll be fine. Real soon.
It hurts.
I can feel it.
Totally.
Sighhhhhhhhhh.
As long as the boyfriend can promise you that he won't let you face everything alone is more than enough.
Is the effort that counts right?
:)
Trust me.
If there's a time machine that can revert everything back.
I'll buy it no matter how much it cost.
If there is, if.
Just a few years of going back will do.
I'm not a greedy guy.
I've done my job of being a nice guy.
I've done my best to stand by your side as much as I can.
I've done my best for making you smile as much as you can.
I've done everything I can just to show you what kind of person I am.
I'm done.
Totally.
Whether I've stand an important place in your heart is all up to you.
Sometimes I really hope I did crossed your mind.
Just a little is more than enough.
With regards,
Edmundd Tann.
